We all play poorly but it's never actually our fault!
Here are some of our favourite excuses made on the course!
“I just didn’t know how it was going to come out”
Usually reserved for think lies in the rough, this classic excuse usually comes after you hit the perfect Phil Mickleson-esque flop shot... the only problem is you were hitting a 4 iron!
“I’m usually better than this”
This excuse is usually a desperate attempt to save face with playing partners, especially if you’re playing with people for the first time. It can also be accompanied by 'I never do this at the range'.
“The wind changed on my back swing”
The perfect excuse to use during even the calmest of days. The change of wind is usually the club your swinging directly past your ear which coincidentally is the reason you’ve hit a bad shot.
“I haven’t been playing much recently”
A classic excuse that plays on the empathy of all our partners. Having a baby will definitely ruin golf game but it will give you a plethora of good excuses (trust me).
“I just can’t swing it properly in waterproofs”
The first of our wet weather excuses. This line is frowned up on at all times, especially if the person saying it has spent £400 on Galvin Greens.
“That putt would have been in 2 weeks ago, bloody rain”
There’s no excuse for leaving a putt short, but we seem to invented plenty, blaming the speed of grass seems to be the easiest…a poor excuse but we’ve all done it.
“There’s too much/not enough sand in the bunkers”
If you haven’t said this you don’t play enough golf. People will go into a bunker, hit one yard behind the ball then complain… A GCW classic.
“These greens are shit”
A popular blanket excuse that covers all aspects of putting. Also available in this category are 'The holes are crowned' and 'It’s too bobbly'.
Just be sure nobody else makes a putt on the same green if you intend to use this excuse.
I'm the Managing Editor at The Club. I like putting and Rioja. I dislike my low slice.