I'm sure like loads of you my Mrs moans at me about golf. She moans when I'm watching it, when I spend ages away playing it and for me when I do it for work...
So I thought I'd ask her about it to see how she thinks about the game we love. Maybe you could ask your other half the same questions and post the best answers in the comments!
ME: Name three golfers, quickfire though...
MRS: Danny Millatt, Tiger Woods, Darren Day
ME: Explain golf…
MRS: There are 18 holes. For each hole there is an average you have to get it in otherwise known as a par. You have to get the ball in the hole in the least shots as possible.
There’s angles involved. You’ve got to do the right angles to get it in the hole.
You can’t really play golf in the rain.
ME: How long does it take to play golf?
MRS: Five hours. It’s too bloody long. Unless you really love it I don’t see how people have the patience to do it for five hours.
I guess if there’s just one of you it might take two hours but if there is like five of you it will take like five hours because you’ll have to wait for everyone to shoot their hole. Sorry, shoot their ball.
ME: What do you think about golf clothes?
MRS: Horrendous. No, it’s just terrible. It looks pompous as anything. High waisted trousers with the stupid polo shirts and you do see those people with the jumpers… you know the ones with the rhombuses.
It doesn’t even seem practical. Surely you’d wear a coat?
It just looks really posh.
ME: Describe the stereotypical golfer…
MRS: A retired businessman, like an old doctor or something. A bit up themselves. Dull.
ME: What’s a 7-iron?
MRS: A type of club. Is it a driver? The big one with the big bit at the end?
MRS: It has a number seven on it?
ME: Can you name a golf make?
ME: Yeh! That's a really weird one!
ME: Why don’t you play golf?
MRS: I have zero interest. I do not have the patience for it. It’s too much of a slow game. I don’t think I have the arm strength for it. I get tired when you take me to the driving range. And I don’t think I’m very co-ordinated with my movements.
When you’re a beginner spending five hours on a golf course when the ball goes in different directions and you have to go into a bunker to get your ball it would be very frustrating.
Also none of my friends play golf. Don’t think it’s aimed at girls. I couldn’t name a single famous female golfer. Isn’t there men only golf clubs too?
ME: What would attract you to golf?
MRS: If it was cheaper, like a tenner a round. Maybe little courses for beginners and more laid back. It’s quite intimidating to go to a golf course. I’d worry about standing out or wearing the wrong clothes and I’d worry old men would have a go at me.
ME: How cool is golf out of 10?
MRS: 5. I don’t think it’s particularly cool. It’s not like surfing is it, that’s got a laid back vibe!
ME: Finally can you name three more golfers…
MRS: Jordan Spieth, Miguel… he likes his Rioja… I’ve said Danny Millatt haven’t I?
MRS: RORY MCILROY!
ME: Yes, thanks for that.
Now please ask your other half these questions and post answers in comments. I may have to make crucial life decisions off the back of it!
I'm the Managing Editor at The Club. I like putting and Rioja. I dislike my low slice.