Calling Out Golf's Bullshit - #1 - Course Rankings

Oooh have you played x course? It’s ranked 46th in the UK and 82nd in the world. What a load of bullshit.

Golf courses are completely subjective. It can depend on a million things including the state of the course on the day you played it, the weather, how you played, who you played with, what kind of mood you were in and just how hungover you were.

Courses are all completely unique and they don’t play matches against each other in a league to determine a ranking. More likely some tosspot golf journalist goes about and ranks it upon his preconceived opinions and how much free shit the club gave him.

It’s like a woman (or a man)... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One man’s Mila Kunis is another man’s Susan Boyle… and dependent on your situation… for example outside McDonalds in Clapham at 3:30am after a skinful your opinions may be slightly altered. (This particular example has never happened to the writer!)

Point is with all these factors why is so much, or any credence paid to some certificate on the wall saying some old nobhead at Today’s Golfer says this is 52nd in UK&I? What makes it better than 53rd but not quite as good as 51st?

Nothing that’s what. It’s all bullshit. Marketing bullshit.

Even amongst our Sunday social fourball opinion will vary on each course and quite often it boils down to how you played individually. If the greens were shit but yours kept bobbling into the hole you let the greenkeeper slide. On the other hand if you’ve hacked it through no fault of the probably hard working green staff, probably after months of British weather, you give it both barrels in the clubhouse.

Even worse is the people who’ll judge a course dependent on the green fee (we’ve all done it!) Whether that be expecting too much from an expensive green fee or being snobby at a cheaper one the correlation between cost and standard doesn’t always match up.

So next time you check out a course you’re playing and you see it’s 18th in some bullshit list go down without any preconceptions and just enjoy the place!

Our scorecard at the end of the round is unfortunately complete fact whereas let’s remember our opinions on golf courses are just that… opinions.

And as we know they're like assholes. We all have one.

I'm the Managing Editor at The Club. I like putting and Rioja. I dislike my low slice.