Who knows a Neal?

Meet Neal – Neal is a keen club golfer with a 11 handicap.

Neal took up golf five years ago and has worked his handicap down from 24 in good time.

Neal is a member and plays at a 'quality' club. Neal plays every week with friends, and enjoys a light refreshment as a reward for a hard day out on the course. Sounds great doesn’t it?

Well it’s not. Neal has a temper, a bad temper.

Neal plays with a shiny well looked after set of Mizunos. Well a set without a 4-iron which can be found somewhere in heavy Dorset gorse, nor an 8-iron which is in three pieces after a chunked approach on the fourth hole back in April.

Every slight error or misplaced shot ends in a fit of rage, often quite loudly (much to the disgust of Janet & Barbara on the course) and always involving expletives. These outbursts are regular, Neal is not happy unless he is scoring on every hole and scoring well.

The rage is often short lived but means there is an eerie silence within the fourball, all of whom are hoping that Neal’s next shot is a good one in fact more than good – perfect, otherwise more equipment abuse will be endured along with even more expletive language.

Neal’s own faith in his golfing abilities are high, but not high enough for him to part with his hard earned cash for a decent ball. Instead he plays a Srixon Distance or Soft Feel, whichever is on offer at the local Sports Direct.

If I had a £1 for every time I hear 'There’s another fucking £1 down the drain' every time he pulls the 'big draw' (Pull Hook) out of bounds and loses another precious Srixon stone – I'd be bathing in Pro V1’s. 

Neal is an 11-handicapper, he's not on the cusp of the European Tour and yet his pre-shot routines are exhaustive to watch and have gradually over the years got longer and longer. He makes Kevin Na look like he’s jacked up on Red Bull.

Don’t even get me started on putting.

Moral of the story - Don’t be like Neal, nobody likes an angry golfer, nobody enjoys playing with an angry golfer, and nobody likes five hour rounds of golf.

Likes: Sunshine, Billy Joel and Twilight Golf... anywhere

DislikeS: Rain and Patrick Reed