The Moaning Husband - 'Playing With a Spouse'

The Moaning Husband - 'Playing With a Spouse'

You may have seen this week the hilarious eBay listing where a moaning husband was selling his irons.

Well we tracked him down and asked him to moan some more!

Here is the eBay listing in case you missed it... (Click on it)


And here is his rant on playing with a spouse...

This weekend saw the completion of my first round of the year.  I’m sure you’ll be delighted to know that I played broadly to my handicap, at 22 over par, only lost one ball, and poked my finger through a banana that had been in my bag since my last October.

Ahead of my three-ball, was a four ball comprising of two couples, somewhere in their fifties. One of the couples, somewhat sickeningly, had matching shirts, and I’ve got to be honest, the temptation to fire a Top Flite (hey, it’s January, I’m skint) at them was almost overpowering, but I resisted.

They kindly played us through on the fifth tee, and partook in an appropriate level of epic bants as my buddy sliced his drive on to the adjacent fairway, making this dog-leg left about 200 yards longer than it needed to be.

But I spent the long walk up to my 300 yard drive (give or take a hundred yards) asking myself why. Why would *anybody* want to play golf with their spouse?  I could be married to Paula Creamer or Henrik Stenson, and playing golf with my partner would still be about as high on my priority list as jumping barefoot on a mountain of Lego.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite fond of Wifey.  But the whole point of golf is spending six hours ("sorry love, the course was packed – I didn’t even have a pint!") away from her, why would I want to be nagged round the bloody golf course?  If I wanted to spend hours walking around pretending to be interested in what she was saying, I’d take her to Ikea.  

It’s my escape.  It’s my time with friends, where we don’t have to talk about anything other than the shortcomings in our playing partners’ games.  Bill isn’t going to remind you that you promised to clean out the garage when you’re about chip over a bunker.  

Granted, he may well display mind games that Derren Brown would be proud of to make sure you thin it into to the sand, but you’ll get him back next time he’s putting for a half.

Imagine the silent treatment you’d get if you reacted to your wife topping her ball into the lake in the way such misfortune is supposed to be dealt with?  Imagine the bollocking you’d get if she knew how much that driver *really* cost!  

I don’t care whether you’re male or female – playing golf with your spouse has got to be one of the worst ways to ruin a round of this great game. It’s frustrating enough as it is!

Thankfully, my wife has about as much interest in golf as I do in watching 'Loose Women', so the only thing that’s ever going to ruin my round is, well, me.

Richard Harries aka 'The Moaning Husband'

I'm the Managing Editor at The Club. I like putting and Rioja. I dislike my low slice.