Golfers dress badly enough in the summer with the crazy trousers and ill-fitting polos but when winter comes it’s practicality above everything else.
As the weather turns prepare for the golf club to be full of people wearing some shockers that they've plucked from the wardrobe for the 15th year in a row…
The Dreaded Windcheater
It may well be the ugliest of any garment ever created. With its popularity peaking in 1997 and declining ever since if you see someone wearing one have a word and tell them that technology has changed and that this paper-thin effort probably isn't helping them much!
Instead why not try the...
Adidas Climaheat Windproof Jacket which you can pick up for around £75. It's slickly designed and tailored and if you wear it you'll play just like Jason Day.
Diamonds are not forever!
From Nick Faldo in the 80's to a slight resurgence of people living in Bournemouth, who listened to garage music in 2003, the Argyle Sweater is another style that has rapidly declined... and with good reason!
It is synonymous with golf, which isn't a good thing, and the sooner they are all burnt the better!
Why not try the...
Lymann Tour Merino Sweater by J.Lindeberg. Once again it fits well and the merino will keep you nice and warm.
You can get it for around £80 which some might think it expensive for a jumper but the fact you can wear it on and off the course, and look the nuts, means we think it's well worth the cash!
The expensive waterproofs...
Know anyone who has spent over £400 on a set of waterproofs and they don't even look good anyway?
Obviously looking good comes second to actually keeping dry but there are plenty of suits for half this price that will do the job. Even if you're an oligarch remember expensive isn't always best!
Instead try the...
The Under Armour Storm range is a beauty. Practical, looks good and keeps you just as dry as jackets and suits that cost twice as much.
You can get the top half for less than £100 and the bottoms range from £40 to £80 dependent on whether it's a shower or monsoon you intend to play in!
The #GCW Umbrella
The classic #GCW accessory is the corporate golf umbrella. Nobody gives a shit if you wash the pots at Morgan Stanley or arse lick your way up the ladder at some law firm if you are hacking it around for 22 points.
Two fingers up...
These GFORE umbrellas won't keep you any drier I don't think but how cool do they look? You can go for the weird old school two-fingers, the thumbs up or our favourite the one finger which is so relevant at many golf clubs up and down the land... or in some weird upwards gesture to Baby Jesus (or whoever makes it rain) for ruining your scorecard around the turn!
If you ever see anyone wearing either a bucket hat or indeed any kind of waterproof hat please immediately send us photographic evidence and report them to the authorities.
There is no alternative for this hat as wearers are already too far gone.
I'm the Managing Editor at The Club. I like putting and Rioja. I dislike my low slice.