You're not Rory
We all know that McIlroy has a huge advantage when he pulls big stick, tees it high, launches it in to the stratosphere and then controls the landing back down with pinpoint accuracy into the middle of the fairway.
But when I pull driver do I have the same advantage?
As much as every GCW likes to stand over their driver with confidence and tell tales in the bar of 300 yard drives that penetrate the fairways, the fact is that those stories are usually as truthful as the penetrative stories that I used to tell to my friends when I was a teenager. So is there a better way?
We've all been there
Picture the scene; it’s the one sunny day that we have this summer and you’ve managed to persuade the wife that you have to play golf and she’s agreed to it.
You and your pals are standing on the first tee with the usual confident swagger that hides the butterflies and are trading tales of birdies and eagles and debating whether a red belt really is the look for this summer. There’s the standard bet of £5 front, £5 back and £10 overall on the line.
No-one is volunteering to hit first so up goes the tee to decide who will be the first to embarrass themselves as the members gather on the balcony behind you. The tee falls in slow motion and low and behold it’s you.
Again. Your back instantly feels stiffer, the ladies tee and water hazard look like the only possible places this shot could finish and the fairway is thinning faster than your hair.
Usually at this juncture you begin teeing the ball up high, taking laboured practise swings with your driver and bring out all of your favourite pre-round excuses of why your about to play badly.
But what if you didn’t pull driver and lose the only Pro V1 that you have left in your bag? What if you reached for the old trusty 7 iron and gave it a little punt down the fairway instead?
Can you handle your mates?
Yes you’ll take a few jabs from your mates, but you can return those with interest when you’re done spending the obligatory 30 seconds pretending to look for his ball in the trees and reminding him that it was in fact his second drive that you were looking for after the first went for a swim.
Let’s break this down a little further, if you can get your 7 iron to get out there at 150-170 yards then the vast majority of par 4’s should be reachable with two swipes and a decent pitch shot. All those Par 5’s that you try to reach in two and fail could be tamed as you patiently bump it along and get there or thereabouts in 3 good swings.
You could thin it and still get a decent result out of the old Sally Gunnell ugly runner and the only mistake you leave on the table is hitting it fatter than your uncle Keith.
In fact, you should eliminate all the big errors and lost balls out of your game and bring scores tumbling down. You’ll spend less time looking for errand drives, less money on replacing golf balls and more time wandering down the short grass and collecting money on the 18th green.
Here’s the only problem though… At some point we all had to stop doing that really fun job working behind the bar because we needed the safe and steady 9-5 to pay the mortgage.
The crazy, unpredictable Columbian girl you dated in university was a lot of fun but you had to trade her in for the safer and saner woman that’s raising your kids.
The convertible that you used to fly around in spent too much time in the garage and cost too much in repairs so that had to be replaced by the reliable Skoda.
And after all that...
In reality golf is the last thing left for most of us where we haven’t already taken up the metaphorical 7 iron approach. So what if it means you keep losing golf balls and money, it’s still worth it for the one a round that you nail out of the screws.
Plus who cares if Dave wins every time, we all know he counts up his scores with same creativity he uses in his tax returns.
Never give in, never grow up and always… Grip it, rip it and walk after it.
I'm a writer for #GCW. I like to pretend I'm good at golf and writing because I'm not ready to accept the truth about either...