No Thursday Rant this week. Didn't want to bring people down in the post Christmas month, so here's a job specification.

It’s the middle of January, we’ve had ‘Blue Monday’ and it’s grim out and grim in. Work is terrible and you’re looking at your options?

Work outside… 
Plenty of sunshine… 
Good money…
Working in Sport…
No qualifications needed…

Why not just be a caddy?

Walk around at Augusta carrying a bag and get paid? Where do I sign?

Travel the world rubbing shoulders with some of the best sportsmen and being in the thick of the action. Influencing proceedings and having the opportunity to earn mega bucks.

An average package of £800-£1000 an event, 7% on earnings and usually half of flight expenses for events outside of Europe.

But just before you hand your boss your P45 and start bothering tour pros on Twitter it might not be all it’s cracked up to be.

Barring being the Chelsea manager the job security of a caddy must be one of the worst around.

Player gets out the wrong side of bed in Qatar? Sacked.
Some other caddy snakes your job? Sacked.
Tell your player something he doesn’t want to hear on the course? Maybe sacked.

And unlike with Mr Abramovich where you’re likely to be getting a rather large severance package, being a caddy you’re out on your arse with sweet FA.

There are no real contracts with most agreements being done by text or email and generally lasting from one week to ‘I’ll come out to the desert with you for three weeks’.

There’s a reason there is a saying amongst the caddies that ‘Every week is your last week’.

Sleepless nights all across the world ensue as the dream job could be over at anytime!

And those sleepless nights come at a cost. Hotels across the globe aren’t cheap so expenses rinse your budget pretty quickly, meaning a run of missed cuts and you may well be struggling for bills back home.

Sometimes they'll need an arm around the shoulder!

On the most part the days of caddies being unprofessional pissheads who’d turn up bedraggled on the 1st tee are gone… it’s a real profession now. (So that may also rule you out!)

Good players will realise that a caddy is of huge benefit on course knowledge, advising them on their limitations and keeping them in check mentally.

But even so the power still seems to lie almost solely in the player’s court.

Is this right? Could you handle it? Could you hold your tongue when some golfing diva has a go at you?

Why not give it a go then? They’re in the desert at the moment...

I'm the Managing Editor at The Club. I like putting and Rioja. I dislike my low slice.