Our Guy On Tour Roasts This Week's Porsche Open!!!

The below is from a source on tour who shall remain unnamed (Sorry!)

How was it out there today mate?” I said.

“Worst course of the year I reckon. One of the star names is going nuts!

“Shit condition.

“Shit greens.

“Bad design.

“Small greens with water surrounding on long holes.

“Big slopey greens on short holes.

“Course too long.

“Par fives are unreachable even off forward tees.

“Range in bad condition.”

Apart from that though?” I joked.


Looks great on TV, but maybe not so good on the ground?


“Infrastructure of event shit.

“Even the weather is shit!

“The bunkers are not even sand. They are marble. So you hit a bunker shot and rocks go all over the green. So you spend ages picking rocks off the green so you can putt. And they wonder why play is slow?!

“Because...it's run by a management company. They've obviously been given a fuckload of cash by Porsche to run it, skimped and pocketed a load.

“Seriously some of these management companies are bloodsuckers, like little leeches. They’re ruining the game and a load of the boys are fucked off with them. Just glorified travel agents taking a cut.

“Their days are numbered but we can go into that in a few weeks!”

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I'm the Managing Editor at The Club. I like putting and Rioja. I dislike my low slice.